Truck Driving S.O.B.

Two antique dealers in a SUV proceeded to cut me off

I followed them downtown to one of them artists lofts

One of the guys came to the door, he said "Hi, you must be Mitch"

I said "no," I punched him in the teeth and said, "I’m a truck driving son of a bitch"

Oh yeah, truck driving son of a bitch

Truck driving son of a bitch

Chain smokin', CB jokin'

Truck driving son of a bitch

The new waitress she gave me the eye at Greasy Bob's come-on-in

Took her home to a honkey-tonk, next thing we're checking into the Spring Days Inn

In the morning she says I love you Hank, then she starts to twitch

I said sorry baby, gotta go, 'cuz I'm a truck driving son of a bitch

Oh yeah. I'm truck driving son of a bitch

I'm a pill-poppin', jojo chop wearn"

Truck driving son of a bitch

A chicken fried steak eatin'

Truck driving son of a bitch

A five dollar shower, nudie girl happy hour

Truck driving son of a bitch

Drinkin' beer at my favorite bar, the Chrome Nudie Girl Inn

Truckers don't like shuttle bus drivers and a slew of them walked in

Rather drink with a smokey bear and get the hemorrhoid itch

Me and Bob beat the shit out of them 'cause I'm truck driving son of a bitch

Truck driving son of a bitch

I'm a truck driving son of a bitch

A sideburn wearin', Redman chewin'

Truck driving son of a bitch

Thelma and Louise hatin'

Truck driving son of a bitch

Truck driving son of a bitch

Chain smokin', CB jokin'

Truck driving son of a bitch

I'm a truck driving son of a bitch

Come on over and slap me in my face

'Cause I'm a truck driving son of a bitch

I'm a truck driving son of a bitch

Gear shiftin', chicken lickin'

Truck driving son of a bitch

Hey I thought you where a girl with all that hair

Where you goin' boy?

Hey dude. I'm goin' to a folk festival in Aspen!

Oh yeah, no kiddin'? Get the fuck out of my truck