Pretend You Love Me

I was just a kid but I learned much too fast Found the internet way too young a scar that would last And you know that I hate thinking someone else did this to me But I had all the resources because of your enabling And sometimes I wonder if I didn't hurt so bad Would I have been more lovable to my mom and my dad And if I went back in time to see six year old me Id say this shit does not get better this is who you're meant to be and I am a monster so you say I do this on purpose anyway I need to feel this pain so I can I try to crawl away when you say my name Hold me down and scream at me You say this is where I deserve to be So keep pretending that you love me I'll believe you although you never show it to me "Wow you're such a quiet kid" they all would say to me Don't call me an old soul when I'm just unhappy You treated me like an adult when I was still so young You ask what you did wrong but you fucking knew it all along I know that I was difficult or I knew that's how you felt I was told that I was selfish when I needed fucking help I remember when I lied to you I ran away and hid You didn't have to hurt me I was just a little kid I was just a little kid And now I'm still a little kid and I am a monster so you say I do this on purpose anyway I need to feel this pain so I can I try to crawl away when you say my name Hold me down and scream at me You say this is where I deserve to be So keep pretending that you love me And I'll believe you I'll believe you I am a monster so you say I do this on purpose anyway I need to feel this pain so I can I try to crawl away when you say my name Hold me down and scream at me You say this is where I deserve to be So keep pretending that you love me And I'll believe you but you never show it to me