Pretend My Pain Away

Tell my mother, tell my father I'm so sorry I was never good enough In your eyes I know I'll always be a monster Like who I am made me impossible to love When I just needed empathy You buried me in so much shame I won't apologize for who I am No, not for one more day I can't pretend my pain away I can't outrun the pouring rain In my head, in my head It's like I'm hiding a hurricane I can't pretend my pain away Judge me for what I cannot change When I'm dead, when I'm dead You're gonna wish you believed You make me feel like such a burden Like my sickness is my fault, can't take this shame I wish that you could see my pain just like a cancer I'd be your hero, not a liar like you say I can't pretend my pain away I can't outrun the pouring rain In my head, in my head It's like I'm hiding a hurricane I can't pretend my pain away Judge me for what I cannot change When I'm dead, when I'm dead You're gonna wish you believed When I needed to be loved You were the jury and the judge Refused to understand It messed me up so bad The more you tried the less you helped It only made me hate myself Can't stand one second more In the home you never were I can't pretend my pain away I can't outrun the pouring rain In my head, in my head It's like I'm hiding a hurricane I can't pretend my pain away Judge me for what I cannot change I'm not dead, no, not yet I'm begging you to believe me