Raspberry Handsoap

Faint cries I'll make

And play off as

False conversation

And all the lies that I've told

Make it seem like

I have a conscience

Say anything

Cause now I feel

Just like there's no pulse

Maybe I'll stop beating

But not until I can

Tear my lungs out

And I don't want to

Hear you sing that song

That I swore to you

Was written for you

And I want to tear apart that letter

That was stained with

My half truths

And you never really never mattered

When I think about it

Well… maybe you did

But it just won't wasn't comfortable

You never made me feel

Like I ever really mattered

Cause I'm trying to get away

It's alright

Cause when I'm looking at the novel

That you might have published

I'll recognize

The character

With all of my flaws on his

I'll swallow my pride

Until I slash the tires

On your new beamer

Then you'll finally

Taste the failure

That you have avoided for so long

Don't talk about

The cool parties

You went to with all my old friends

Cause you stole them

Like you took my trust

And my insolence

And I want to

tear apart my larynx

Maybe with a scalpel

And I'll feed it to the envy

You've wrought in me

And then my lips

Won't move so fast

And maybe you'll be laughing at

My muted screams

And I'm sorry that I told you

That I'd never let you know

I'm not so

Wholesome

I'm not all in cracked to be

And now I'll never let you see

How this kills me

And all the raspberry handsoap

That I have on my hands

Cannot wash off, dried blood

And I'll put up a front like you

But know that all I'm going through

Is just like cancer

Let's talk about

How much you hate to know

that you still need me

And how bad I Just went to

Push you away

But you never leave