Case

Never once did I dream I would make it this far I once tried to kill myself in my car Wrapped in the seatbelt, I leaned the seat back Somehow kept my life, turns out I need that Wasn't for another year that I learned how to rap And that simple act put me back on track Far from the best, much further from the worst It gave me something to do with my time on this earth And it birthed a whole new side of me Found a whole lotta worth I didn't know was inside of me Now who I am is the man that I try to be That is when I'm not battling anxiety It's far from a dream to be the way I am Hard not to nip the rose in the stem How much more will it take til the aftershocks pass I won't take my life, instead I'll take my life back One day I wanna look back fondly Like damn, I'm glad I didn't let me off me Plans never go exactly how they oughta, see I am but a man and life is but an odyssey I never let a tear drop unless it's necessary The chemicals ingrained are a debt that I carry I can slip at anytime and I get that it's scary But I won't let my parents watch their child be buried So worst comes to worst, imma lay in bed With the covers pulled tight right above my head But nowadays when I do, don't pretend that I'm dead Instead I take a little break from the lies I've been fed By my own brain, my own damn chemistry I am the reason that I'm struggling so desperately Maybe I should seek help, outsource it medically But I'm too afraid to change my wiring irreparably Harshly dependent, guard all my friendships Cause without them my life would be depthless Known to be a drag but they still drag my around They're the humans that support me and I'm glad they've been found It's far from a dream to be the way I am Hard not to nip the rose in the stem How much more will it take til the aftershocks pass I won't take my life, instead I'll take my life back One day I wanna look back fondly Like damn, I'm glad I didn't let me off me Plans never go exactly how they oughta, see I am but a man and life is but an odyssey I've got a deep seated drive to be alone That's why I spend most my time inside of my home Don't be upset if I don't pick up the phone I'll always call back when I'm better though 26 years old, 26 percent sure That I'll live 26 more, and keep the outlook pure One quarter century, many happy returns It's a mad man that laughs as he burns Flame to the candle, ash to the urn Too much pain to handle, man must be heard Lest he be condemned to writhe in his hurt Lest he believe he'd be free in the dirt The circle is a cycle and the curve begins at birth If it hurts it's probably vital is a lesson to be learned I may talk a big game but haven't learned shit yet But what I do know is I prefer life to death It's far from a dream to be the way I am Hard not to nip the rose in the stem How much more will it take til the aftershocks pass I won't take my life, instead I'll take my life back One day I wanna look back fondly Like damn, I'm glad I didn't let me off me Plans never go exactly how they oughta, see I am but a man and life is but an odyssey