क्रेडिट्स
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Sergio Alexander Ramirez
Songwriter
गाने
Feeling rejected
Everyday I'd suppress it
And I acted like somebody that nobody could mess with
But I knew deep inside I had a void in my heart
So then attention was a needle I put straight through my arm
Felt like nobody liked me so then I needed to change
Even though I was somebody that today I'd embrace
I was nothing like the cool kids everybody was like
But I think was too awkward for anyone in my sight
I knew my parents loved me but they didn't love each other
Fighting and fighting, I never knew what was a lover
Then I remember seeing these knights in their shining armor
And how a pretty lady would love them and they would conquer
It became a fantasy, I became so amazed
Spider-Man to the rescue, protecting his Mary Jane
I wanted to be that and just like him be so brave
So I figured that a girl would be the cure to my pain
Every girl that I liked then would always push me way
So the older I got, the more I started to crave
The attention from a girl, I remember 5th grade
When I attempted a backflip and I landed on my waist
I didn't care cause at least I had got her to see me
And know that's a good example of how others would treat me
I would try to impress them and become all of their puppet
And as much as it hurt me, a part of me really loved it
And I never had a chance
Feeling rejected
Every day I'd suppress it
Treated like a dog so eventually learned my lesson
I started looking for ways to be improving myself
And to stand out from the crowd and be like nobody else
So I started lifting weights and I start to be looking clean
Attention it brought me had only made me fiend
So I'd want to be a man but didn't know what it means
But I didn't really care as long I felt like a king
Around the same time, my girl and I got together
And me thinking so selfishly I thought it made life better
And The longer we went on the more I felt all the pressure
And I started to realize her attention was my pleasure
I would drift away when I didn't feel her acceptance
She wasn't who to blame, it was me that was feeling jealous
Any guy she would talk to, I'd want to kill in her presence
And then I would always lie and tell myself I'm protective
Her affection was a drug and I felt I had to compete
So no one stole it from me, I need it so I can breathe
When looking back I see a kid that just had a need
That almost led to losing his virginity at thirteen
This void that was in me needed more than just a woman
It needed something that deep down I knew that it shouldn't
So I turned to lust, looking at women behind a screen
Since they were the only ones that would satisfy all my dreams
It was a nightly ritual, it was a constant habit
Did it for several years, I didn't know how to manage
My shame had only grown and eventually had enough
And I yelled out to God to help me out of this rut
So he did and I was free for a couple of months
Till I trusted myself and felt right back into lust
Sadly bringing someone with me, now I have to get up
And I know I can knowing God's the one that I trust
I gotta fix myself, I don't know if I really love you
Or if I only love that I'm person that you run to
Don't know if it's love or just the fact that I can touch you
But I'm fighting this for you and that's the answer that I've come to
I know that you love me so I'm trying my best
To rekindle with the Lord and put my ego to rest
I'm recovering, I promise, God will put this to death
And I promise I'll keep fighting until my final breath
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