Bloodshot

Looked in the mirror seen a reflection But it wasn't me Eyes bloodshot Sneaking tears so no one could see Another foundation To cover the fresh black and blue Scratches on my skin Hoping the swelling goes down soon A bite mark that won't go away A headache I can't seem to shake Tired of seeing fists I'm on the wrong side of a sunny day Hands up to protect my face Apologies just wanting grace Isolate me, isolate me She was grooming me to be her prey Everyday Im healing cause The pain she's caused had seemed to stay I was lying to myself that this was love When it was something else That's the kind of love most people don't speak about Yea that's that kind of love I tried to fix If we could speak it out Instead it was toxic triggered trauma When she'd beat me down Had to overcome a fuckin monster So I could see me now I lost friends I lost me Love was killing me softly Hardly ever recognized To my inner child I apologize She asked me what would make me leave I asked myself what made me stay Her abandonment and abuse Made manipulation her favorite way To keep me around I had to find a way to break away Cause this crying in the mirror Hiding horrors Ain't worth saving face I never deserved it No one ever does You came this close to taking me Like this close to shaking me And I'm turning my pain into pleasure Start paying me I am turning my pain into pleasure So start paying me Everything you done to me I've already done Word to Celie Heart is beating Close your eyes and then you'll see me I am the haunting of your grieving I am your nightmares I am the haunting of your grieving I am your nightmares The cycle's broken No words unspoken We healing now I unlocked a new side of me And then I popped out You see me now I'm in my baddie zone All the haters they need to watch out Removing all the knees to the necks Cause i'm on top now Ancestors cover me Bitch bye bye Ain't no turning back Im finally Making room for things That inspire me Quite honestly This femme's fires ignited I'm here to show up Cuz they gaslit the fuck out of me Now watch me blow up