Ollie North

In the 80s, there was Cold War drama

We fought the Commies inside Nicaragua

Our friends were the Contras, freedom was their mantra

So we sent them lots of money for guns and landmines

But Congress stopped the Contra money flow

Just 'cause they moved a teeny bit of blow

But then a hero came forth, his name was Oliver North

He and Reagan went around the sissy Congress

Ollie North

Ollie North

You see, North secretly sold missiles to a harmless country called Iran, who would always be a grateful ally

Then he gave the profits to the Contras

Genius

But the sales were uncovered by the press

Reagan and North began to stress

'Cause what they did was technically high treason

But it was totally justified

North volunteered to take the blame

To save Reagan from prison rape shame

The truth he did bury with his hot secretary

Thanks to her shredder, he got off totally scot-free

Ollie North

Ollie North

He's a soldier

And a hero

And a novelist

And now he's on FOX News