Life Upon the Wicked Stage

Why do stage struck maidens clamor To be actin' in the drammer? (We've heard say you are gay night and day.) Oh, go 'way! (We drink water from a dipper, You drink champagne from a slipper.) Tho' it seems cruel to bust All your dreams, still I must; Here's the truth I tell you: Life upon the wicked stage Ain't ever what a girl supposes; Stage door Johnnies aren't raging Over you with gems and roses. When you let a feller hold your hand (which Means an extra beer or sandwich), Ev'rybody whispers: "Ain't her life a whirl?" Though you're warned against a roue Ruining your reputation, I have played around The one night trade around A great big nation: Wild old men who give you jewels and sables Only live in Aesop's Fables. Life upon the wicked stage Ain't nothin' for a girl. (Though we've listened to you moan and grieve, you Must pardon us if we do not believe you, There is no doubt you're crazy about Your awful stage!) I admit it's fun To smear my face with paint, Causing ev'ryone to think I'm what I ain't, And I like to play a demi-mondy role With soul! Ask the hero does he like the way I lure When I play a hussy or a paramour, Yet when once the curtain's down My life is pure, and how I dread it! (Life upon the wicked stage Ain't ever what a girl supposes, Stage door Johnnies aren't raging Over you with gems and roses.) If some gentleman would talk with reason I would cancel all next season. Life upon the wicked stage Ain't nothin' for a girl! (You'd be back the season after!) I've got virtue, but it ain't been tested, No one's even interested. Life upon the wicked stage...