Action Movies

I went to Belgium, I was excited about that

Because I'm an action movie fanatic

And I know this was Jean-Claude Van Damme is from

And ironically enough

I watched that movie on the plane ride over Expendables 2

He plays the bad guy in the movie

He has a fight scene with Sylvester Stallone at the end of the movie

I thought Stallone and Schwarzenegger was hard to understand, huh

Here's a moment just before the fight

Van Damme says to Stallone, "Don't try to challenge me"

It took me 45 minutes

To figure out that motherfucker was trying to say challenge

Don't try to challenge me

I said, what the fuck is a challenge?

Sound like a gay black male hairdresser

Oh my God, girl, your hair is nice

Who did your shit?

Challenge

Like, I can't even believe

Stallone and Schwarzenegger still making action movies

This motherfucker's hundred and eighty-seven years old

And I'm a huge Sly fan, I love them Rocky movies

I'm gonna come out with Rocky 48, I'll be right there

My favorite Rocky movie was Rocky III when his trainer died

Not 'cause his trainer died

Just hearing Stallone cry for the first time was magical

Remember that scene in Rocky III

When he loses the club of life the first time?

He goes back into the locker room and Mickey's laying on that cot

He's got that blanket over his chest, he's on his last breath

He's like, sto-

Stallone starts crying

"Mick! You hear me? You hear me, Mick?

You hear me, Mick? I got one more point to do, Mick

I don't know what to do, what to do, eh-eh-eh"

You ever notice in the Rocky movies

Whenever he starts out normal, you can understand him

But the more emotional he get, he just fucking lose you

Like, remember that scene in Rocky III

When he's standing on the beach, and he's all stressed and disheveled

And Adrian's like, "Rocky, what's wrong?", he's like

"Hey, Adrian, you know I don't want it no more"

"What are you talking about?"

"When I first got in the ring

I didn't care what happened to me, I didn't care

But now as you, as a kid, I won't lose what I got!"

Will you believe me, Adrian?

Adrian, don't bring me down until I'm free!

That's when Van Damme should have jumped out the water

And said, "Don't try to challenge"