Happy Birthday

I forgot your fucking birthday two years in a row The first time it happened, didn't want to watch porn alone We were in different zip codes, called your cellular phone You were sipping patron, candles already blown Of course you were pissed, you shouted out "what the fuck is this?" "It's my birthday bitch, don't be calling me horny and stupid" Shoulda dumped me then, signed me up for ok cupid I don't why but you kept me on the line to my surprise And then that second time, we'd already broken up Shows how much i'd already fucked up Scrolling on my newsfeed, when all of a sudden you popped up And your friends i'd seen when i visited you for a week, Showered your profile with keyboard smiles, "I love you"s, and "haven't seen you in a while"s And a wave of denial hit, like a pile of bricks All i could do was sit in a pool of my own bullshit And all the lies i had equipped for a moment just like this They weren't of any help as I felt guilt settle into myself We talked about love, we talked about divinity If i could talk to you now, it'd be to get rid of me I'm sorry I can't love you anymore I said i'm sorry I can't love you anymore I've written a thousand verses, slung a thousand curses All of them sound like the same sermon at the same churches Same flow, same rhyme scheme, same ending line Same beginning and same subject every time It's a crime the way i design what's mine I make identical mistakes, never learn after the ninth fucking time I make promises after i get high, i'll never smoke again And then two hours later, shrug it off, say, "i'll just smoke with friends" I'm a piece of shit, how the hell did you put up with it? I made you feel ugly and ashamed yet said i was the victim to the game Looks like i've opened the same fucking vein I hope i die in vain and you forget my name Cause I'd say you're beautiful, you're so mesmerizing But i need a trophy wife so this isn't good timing I'll say you're perfect, and yes, you're the only one But i need to fuck a girl or two before i can put the ring on And over and over, and on and on til everyone i've ever loved is gone And all i have are my shitty songs When compared to my vices, i'm just a witty pawn So on this february 3rd, i'll wish you a happy birthday And i'll be gone I'm sorry I can't love you anymore I said i'm sorry I can't love you anymore Now baby, don't be sad I can't love you I won't love you I don't love you Anymore