Douchey

Douchey come and Douchey go What does Douchey want? Only Douchey knows Douchey done like he did before I was Douchey once but I ain't no more. I was 17 when I first believed I was young and strong I was sad and mean And it was ten long years learning How to breathe in a bubble buried Six feet deep Twenty-one I was dead and gone Hung my head from the highest rung It's a long way down from our kingdom come To a mop and broom and a staple gun Douchey come and Douchey go What does Douchey want? Only Douchey knows Douchey done like he did before I was Douchey once but I ain't no more NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO! NOOOOOOO! When I was just a little boy, my daddy sat me down Said, "My son, you are a Douchey. Douchey won't you do me proud?" So I shunned the foolishnesses of the other kids at play Scuttled off my youthfulness and I just set out on my way Down the straight and narrow highway, headed right into the sun And when I got to New York City, all the zeroes turned to ones And I was wandering the sidewalk telling strangers where to go I was singing like a savior in a manger all alone Till I made myself a martyr and nobody seemed to mind Broke the window with my buttocks, but my buttocks were just fine Till I woke up in a forest with my fingers turning blue Started serving ice cream sandwiches to men in business suits Took a look into the mirror, said "Oh god, what can I do To feel like a human being and not a DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE DOUCHE?!" Douchey come and Douchey go What does Douchey want? Only Douchey knows Douchey done like he did before I was Douchey once but I ain't no more.