A Fine Romance

A fine romance, with no kisses A fine romance, my friend this is We should be like a couple of hot tomatoes But you're as cold as yesterday's mashed potatoes A fine romance, you won't nestle A fine romance, you won't wrestle I might as well play bridge With my old maid aunt I haven't got a chance This is a fine romance A fine romance, my good fellow You take romance, I'll take jello You're calmer than the seals In the Arctic Ocean At least they flap their fins To express emotion A fine romance with no quarrels With no insults and all morals I've never mussed the crease In your blue serge pants I never get the chance This is a fine romance!