Uno Reverse

You ever play Uno? And you put down the reverse card? And you wish you could do that in real life? Bam! Uno reverse card Alright, alright, let me explain the rules here If I lay this card down, I can flip any situation around Okay, so, one night I was getting pulled over by the po-po Looked into my rear-view and saw the deputy He asked if I knew why I was in trouble, sir I ain't Obi-Wan Kenobi, I ain't got telepathy He asked if I was drinkin', he started givin' orders "Say the alphabet backwards" I can't say it forwards! "Son, you fit the description of a neighborhood prowler So I'm taking you to jail, have fun in the showers" (nope) Bam! Uno reverse card I'm placing you under arrest for the worst charge Now, I'm taking you to county in your squad car On the way, I'll do a couple donuts in your front yard I'ma take your paycheck and buy some fireworks The illegal kind that they smuggled in from Mexico Turn the siren on, run some red lights, maybe hit a fruit stand Sorry, I was textin' bro! Bam! Uno reverse card I lost the keys to these cuffs, that's the worst part If I lay this card down, I can flip any situation around It goes bam! Uno reverse card I just hit a flower pot in the church yard If I lay this card down, I can flip any situation around Alright, here's what happened I was at a job interview at Applebee's I was so broke, it was probably my worst year With the manager, she smelled like gasoline And had an attitude, she said "Why do you wanna work here?" "I eat cheerios with tap water, I'm so broke I need money desperately" is what came to my head "I wanna be on the team, I've always dreamed of Working at Applebee's so much!" is what I really said She said "Will you do whatever's required?" I said "Absolutely," she said "You're hired" Bam! I hit her with that Uno reverse card You work for me now, lady, and you're fired I spent the next couple hours eating spinach artichoke dip In the back office with my door closed Then I kicked it with the dishwasher We slacked off, smashed plates, and we broke a bunch of soup bowls Bam! Uno reverse card I'm just livin' man, I don't wanna work hard If I lay this card down (ay), I can flip any situation around It goes bam! Uno reverse card I just coast through life on my surfboard If I lay this card down (uh-huh), I can flip any situation around Hi, Mom, I'm finally on TV! I'm a guest on the Maury Povich Show Meh, nobody in the audience likes me Kinda sucks, but they don't know me though See, my ex is here and she told everybody I'm the baby daddy and she wants every dollar So imagine my surprise when Maury opened up the envelope and said "You are... the father!" Bam! I ain't gotta say it, you know what the words are Sorry, Maury, that kid is yours Good luck paying that child support (bam!)