Date Your Dad

You’re always in your overdraft

That’s why it makes me laugh

When you act like you have

Tonnes of money

Friday night photograph of the Ciroc you had

To split twelve ways with your buddies

And just because you know one Arctic Monkeys song

Doesn't make you indie

If anything it’s icky

And I’m not gonna tolerate your growing pains

I'm not your babysitter, babe

That’s way above my paygrade

Oh, I'm long overdue an upgrade

I’m not here to teach you how to behave

Found someone who has everything you lack

Don’t be mad

But I’m gonna go date your dad

You love to blow your smoke

Said you coulda been pro

But sadly your knee broke

Now you’re a bricky

And half the shit you say

You just regurgitate straight from ‘I’m just bait’

Like it's whitty

Wheel pic of the Benz that your mum pays for

With a one litre engine 'cause you couldn't get insured

And you think you’re so hard but can’t parallel park

I’m not your driving instructor babe

That’s way above my paygrade

Oh, I'm long overdue an upgrade

I’m not here to teach you how to behave

Found someone who has everything you lack

Don’t be mad

But I’m gonna go date your dad

I don’t need a child

I need a man

When you grow up

You’ll understand

He’s got everything that you don’t have

Don’t be mad

But I’m gonna go date your dad

He’s fitter

He’s richer

He’s got his shit together

He’s a winner, delivers

He even cooks me dinner

And it’s not home wrecking

You’re invited to the wedding

So don’t be sad

But I’m gonna go date your dad

07843948611

That’s my number if you could just go and pass it on to him

Tell him that I’m free tonight

Any time after five

My bad

But I’m gonna go date your dad