Leaf in a Stream

i get this feeling as if i was no good

likened to a yardsticks shy of three feet

it's like i compete against the things

i choose to...or more than likely,

i am nudged too consume

but singing this tune

it doesn't rings true

when thought about irrespective of exscuses

though external things bring that noise level up to 11 but below the surface

there rings this cacophony of internal monologues. and each one starts off like... a first domino

and without any obstructions will continues to flow, twisting uncertainly by external means

like a leaf in a stream

i once heard about this visualisation technique that would use to fall asleep

it would help silence my brains...

scattered natter, into a sort of silent focus

and it went something like this, i'd imagine sitting under a tree near the waters edge

there's a steady breeze

and it wrestles with the leaves

then eventually they'd fall onto waters surface and flow past my eyeline

they are the voices that keep my mind awake the choices i choose to create when i fixate but my gaze is my own to aim

weather it be the tree, or the water

or the leaves in the stream

let me try and synthesise

as zoroathrians say

good thoughts, good words, good deeds

if my actions are the result of the thoughts

i choose to materialise

then to follow the leaves

is to become one too

do i move helplessly in line

and in pace with the flow?

it's funny actually

a boat would also move in a similar manner but a boat has a rudder

with a conscious being as a driver

i suppose what i'm trying to say is

the time when i feel measured

by a yard stick that doesn't fit

are also times when i lose my rudder

and become just another

leaf in the stream