Anguish

Suffering, smothering,

Locked inside emotions that I’m covering,

Wondering, puzzling,

Stopped inside commotions that I’m buffering,

Childhood trauma got me stuck inside this moment,

Living life in fear hoping nobody else would notice,

Talking to this doctor, now receiving diagnosis,

Walking out this hospital and they don’t even know it,

Ripping off this bracelet, to them I’m seen as nameless,

Hating what this place is, Their disconcert is shameless,

They don’t know what pain is, Wishing I was painless,

Can somebody explain this? Why can’t I be saved here?

Counting all these days down, wondering if I die,

Miss me? Will they care? Will they think of me and my life?

Drowning and I’m weighed down, wondering if I cry,

Can I be supported? Being heard and having my time.

Anguish, I’m in anguish,

I’m in anguish, I’m in anguish,

Anguish, I’m in anguish,

I’m in anguish, I’m in anguish.

Suffering, puncturing,

The surface of my skin I feel discomfort in,

Recovering, guzzling,

Alcohol becoming something comforting,

Childhood trauma got me stuck I’m feeling hopeless,

Tuck away my tears, I’m blacking out and losing focus,

Lost inside my brain I’m in a state of a psychosis,

Paralysis, I’m out of it, alone and I won’t show it,

Wonder if I’ll make it, don’t know if I can take this,

Blur of different faces, in and out of different stages,

Reckless is my basis, if going back to basics,

It’s been like this for years yet I’ve been

Struggling to change it.

Counting all these days down, wondering if I die,

Miss me? Will they care? Will they think of me and my life?

Drowning and I’m weighed down, wondering if I cry,

Can I be supported? Being heard and having my time.

Anguish, I’m in anguish,

I’m in anguish, I’m in anguish,

In anguish, I’m in anguish,

I’m in anguish, I’m in anguish.