Dari
PERFORMING ARTISTS
Hunter Collins
Performer
LL Ellis
Performer
COMPOSITION & LYRICS
Hunter Collins
Songwriter
Lirik
Sorry I'm late, Father Kilkenny
We haven't much time, Father Bennington
Are you all right? You look awful
I'm barely sleeping, damn lumpy mattress
Back is killing me, take me to the possessed child
She's in the bedroom
Thank you for coming, father
Father, this is the child's mother, Mrs. Harvest
I understand you're the best exorcist the Vatican has
Oh, usually, yes, I'm pretty tired
Please help me, poor Lisa
I see the possession is far along
Come closer, priest
Speak, demon!
I'll just take a seat on the bed next to you
Wow, that is comfy
Lisa languishes in a pit of loathiness
Her body rots upon this bed
Yes, and quite the bed it is
I can see why the demon is so resilient, Mrs. Halverson
I wouldn't want to leave this poofy, yet amazingly firm mattress either
But sometimes messages appear on the walls
Or in the flesh of my child herself
Oh dear, look, the words "help me" are forming in the mattress memory foam
Seven, eight, nine seconds before it disappeared
That's a top-of-the-line mattress topper
That can't be good
Most memory foams only hold for two or three seconds
I mean for my daughter, father
I don't know who your daughter father is
Surely we should focus on the girl
Tie her arms and legs to the bedpost before she hurts herself
The bed is levitating
Look at that, frame doesn't squeak or nothing
This bed fucks!
Where'd you say you got it?
Uh, Sleepworld?
Sleepworld, Sleepworld, Sleepworld
I've got to remember that
Father, the girl's head is spinning and she's vomiting everywhere
Dear God, find me some holy water
And get a mattress cover on that thing or you'll lose the warranty
Here
Take this holy water, demon
Sleepworld, Sleepworld
The power of Christ compels you out of Lisa's body
And I compel this stubborn little puke stain to come out of the mattress
If I rub this holy water in there
Do we have any holy club soda?
No, father
Blast it all to hell!
By the power of this crucifix
I command the winged messengers of God to protect this mattress
And Lisa, and Lisa
And may the king of the heavens and earth
Do they ship it to you rolled up
So you just cut the plastic and it flops out all easy-like?
Yes, please, my daughter
No holy man can vanquish my hold on the girl's soul
No god can pry Lisa from the gates of hell
No three-tiered spring technology can stop the pain I bestow upon your daughter
What's happening?
Mommy, it hurts, make it stop
Lisa, we're doing everything we can, honey
Please, untie me, I can't
Hey, hey, hey, the demon was just explaining the three-tiered spring technology to me
Can you get it back in here for a second?
What's he talking about, mommy?
The power of Christ compels you, Lisa
Get the fucking demon out here
I'm in the market for a new bed and this one's bitchin'
Father, focus
Are you cold, priest?
Is this so you were saying about the springs?
Well, they're stiffer around the lumbar and provide more give to your thoracic vertebrae
Oh, that sounds nice
I tell you, I've got a spine like one of Stephen Hawking's fingers right now
And what's this about the liquid gel temperature control on the tag?
I'm not telling
Make with the liquid gel factoids, foul demon
Your mother sucks cocks in hell
That may be, but if she's got a bed like this down there, she's probably got great thrust bob control
Thrust bob control?
Come on, you know what I mean
I'll do this myself, give me the crucifix
Leave my daughter, bastard devil
I'll leave your daughter, but I'm taking this mattress the priest loves so much with me
To ensure it burns in the Morning Star's furnace for eternity
No, don't take the mattress
Take me, take me
The demon is possessing Father Bennington
Father, no
Is there a sleep world around here?
He threw himself out the window with the demon inside him to save the girl
What a selfless man
Lisa, you're back, he saved you
Oh, my love
Mommy
Father Kilkenny, I'm so sorry about Father Bennington
Tragic, so tragic
Say, where'd you get these curtains?
Written by: Hunter Collins
