In the eyes

i don’t wanna search for validation

through parasocial means

i got a lot of aspirations

and none of them are free

i’m trying not to hold on to my insides

as they fall away from me

ashamed of what i was and who i hurt

i hate the boy i used to be

i can’t just take it

another suicide

they think i’ll make it

just look me in the eyes

try not to break it

but i’m the clumsy type

i think im dying

just look me in the eyes

why don’t u ever meet my gaze got me feeling crazy

feel like i can’t see you for days now im breaking baby

flushed now the redness in my face reveals my emotion

i gotta get out of this place before u make assumptions

i don’t wanna kill your desperation (i dont want to)

i don’t do that for free

i done a lot of entertaining (be the one to break a promise)

i got no energy

i’m feeling like im buzzing on the inside (and i wont have to)

and im shaking in my knees

i can’t remember who or what i am and now i have to make believe (hesitate or think about it)

i can’t just take it (cuz i been holding)

another suicide (i been holding on)

they think i’ll make it

just look me in the eyes

try not to break it

but i’m the clumsy type

i think im dying

just look me in the eyes