Swoon

Outside, cold water bottles pressed against necks.

Sex a foreign concept that left me vexed.

I crushed on b-girls with gold hoops, skin glowed

blending aura and bronzer, my blushing face a teleprompter.

Friends threw me the lob, slapped their foreheads with their palms

when I caught the ball and didn’t catch any rim at all.

Revisiting those songs, eyes swivel, then revolve,

so focused on “the one,” I skipped every pair of arms

that coulda drawn me toward a self I might have liked,

quick as fireflies and light, and instead, I would write

another “woe-is-me” poem or rhyme, corny and trite,

couldn’t face a harsh truth, I thought white lies were nice

and I learnied nothing, just heard pumping in my chest

and my ears when we were huggin.

Some things never change, but thank God most of em do.

I don’t miss the kid I was, but still feel like him when I swoon…

especially when it’s over you…

especially when it’s over you…

especially when it’s over you…

especially when it’s over you…

Relearnin love from the other side of loss,

chasm in my heart that I couldn’t fly across

Unless I learned to really write a wrong,

Knowin it’s never enough to apologize in a song.

It’s easy to love you hard, six months’ worth of nights,

and we haven’t missed a call.

Twilight Chi, you told me sand by the lake

doesn’t make the shore a beach,

So I hit you back with the befuddled face.

We chuckled, waited for the moment to be right, and I kissed you,

then laughed like, “Look, this whole beach thing’s still an issue.”

Being with you is a mutual healing ritual,

and everyone around both of us knows it’s different, too.

Nothing big for us to sprint into,

Because for something to really bloom, you gotta give it room.

Wrote this verse since I didn’t know if I would see you soon,

long as you’re on the other end of the phone, I get to swoon

especially when it’s over you…

especially when it’s over you…

especially when it’s over you…

especially when it’s over you…