If Whiskey Were Free

If whiskey were free, then I'd be dead

And if gas was cheap, drive till the road ends

It's only one check, it's on me, my friend

For if whiskey were free, then I'd be dead

There's nothin' like a hard day of breakin' up some rocks

Just to drown them in the bottom of my glass

No vacation holidays

I just wait for the paid time off one day

'Cause every dollar made has gotta last

This work will save me

When the boss man pays me

'Cause an hour of labor buys a double shot

So that's sixteen singles when I get off, whoo!

If whiskey were free, then I'd be dead

Well, if gas was cheap, I'd drive till the road ends

It's only one check, it's on me, my friend

For if whiskey were free, then I'd be dead

Forget the 401K or the cash you stashed away

When you're drinkin' at the big bar in the sky

When the tax man comes around just askin' for a dime

I'll roll it up and stick it where the sun don't shine

'Cause this work will save me

When the boss man pays me

'Cause an hour of labor buys a double shot

So that's sixteen singles when I get off, oh

If whiskey were free, then I'd be dead

Well, if gas was cheap, I'd drive till the road ends

It's only one check, it's on me, my friend

For if whiskey were free, then I'd be dead

So, when I get to Heaven

I know what's waitin' for me

It's got a big open bar that says, "Whiskey for free"

'Cause this work will save me

When the boss man pays me

'Cause an hour of labor buys a double shot

So that's sixteen singles when I get off, oh

If whiskey were free, then I'd be dead

Well, if gas was cheap, I'd drive till that road ends

It's only one check, it's on me, my friend

For if whiskey were free, then I'd be dead

If whiskey were free, then we'd all be dead