Light on My Feet

Ed, at his own memorial God, Lucy, what a thought! I thought I'd drop by To hear the people gushing 'Cause after you die They always get you blushing So I've made a Thornton Wilder return Give me a good gushy goodbye 'Cause even inside of an urn I stay light on my feet I stay light on my feet And give them that da-da-da-da Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da (Lucy, wait till you see this picture of Ed!) I stay light on my feet I stay light on my feet And hit 'em with shoo-bop-doo-wop Shoo-bop-doo-wop, shoo-bop-doo-waaaa (Oh my God, I gave him that tie!) When Dame Fortune tosses me a curve I never give away to despair I hang on with every little nerve Try to keep my balance as I dangle in the air But I land right on my feet I land right on my feet And go with that da-da-da-da Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da da (Felicia! You and Ed had so much history I hope we can be friends) (Don't you have your own friends?) Flat-foot floogies finish up last Most of them are livin' on Spam That's why light on my feet is what I am (Lehman!) (Charlie! I'm gonna miss him) (Yeah, I'm gonna miss him not talkin' to me) And give 'em that da-da-da-da Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da (Felicia! Heard about your record deal on Entertainment Tonight) (Mona, how sweet Entertainment Tonight is for people too stupid to read "People") And hit 'em with shoo-bop-doo-wop Shoo-bop-doo-wop, shoo-bop-doo-waaa (Where's Sophie?) (On that list of people Ed wasn't talking to) (Who isn't?) (So talented!) (He was blocked) (Me too! It's what's been holding me back for years!) I hang on with every little nerve Tryin' to keep my balance as I dangle in the air (My best friend. I taught him all about six-eight time But then I always spend too much time helping friends It's what's been holding me back for years) Da-da-da-da, da-da-da-da-da-da (People say AIDS) (Never!) (He was straight!) (I know) Flat-foot floogies finish up last Most of them are livin' on Spam (No one who writes a hit musical is straight!) (That's what's been holding me back!) (For years?!) That's why light on my feet is what I am Time now for singing my praises I'm here to drink it in Hit me with flattering phrases It's gonna be sweet, gonna be sweet Let it begin (Sophie should be here) (Ed didn't want her!) (Not after that thing between them) (He cut her out) Guys, let's face it He - He was crazy! He was maddening! Short and bald But kind of sexy (Thank you!) He - He burned with ambition But after he made it He got stalled (Hey, guys, this is my memorial!) Had a list of phobias that anyone with phobias would envy Everything with Eddie would be on and off and on and off again He wasted his potential! He was driven He could charm you He could scold You could say you knew him if you knew him But you knew that you were guessing Someone who was terrified of failure And suspicious of success (Oh, I get it! They're just stricken with grief They're just stricken with grief) He'd be such a pussycat And then he'd snap! Leave you hanging for his goddamn nap! (This is beyond belief This is beyond belief) He was unfulfilled He was filled with doubt He was more than Ed could ever figure out And he drove us crazy! He enraged and he enthralled Scared of everything So neurotic and temperamental A hypochondriac After "Chorus Line" Something happened 'cause After "Chorus Line" Nothing happened After "Chorus Line" After "Chorus Line" After "Chorus Line" After "Chorus Line" After "Chorus Line" After "Chorus Line" (Stop!)