Then She Bit Me

Ladies and gentlemen, you are about to enter

The Twilight Zone

I was in a club one Friday

A lovely lady comes walking my way

She walked up and she said hello

I said, "Hi, my name's Joe"

I was lyin', so was she

She said her name was Donnie but her shirt said Marie

She said, "You get to know me, you'll never forget me"

I said, "Why?"

Then she bit me

Ouch, that didn't hurt

Kinda kinky, but she ripped my shirt

She poisoned me, I went to sleep

I woke up in her house in the back of a Jeep

A Blazer, '89, tinted windows, I wish it was mine

Oh, it is, but where are my keys?

There they are, in the ignition

I'm at her house, it's a teepee

No, it's a cabin, no, a skyscraper

No, it's an igloo, a shack

Forget it, I'll go around back

It's a castle with a moat

How I get across, boat

Shh, I hate that sound

I went inside, looked right, looked left

There she is, oh, no, that's Jeff

He's invisible, I went downstairs

It's a loft, no, it's a dungeon

There she is, doing aerobics

No, yoga, no, that's karate

You killed my teacher

But what a body

No, he wasn't there

I'm tellin' you, I saw him

No, really I saw him

He was playing checkers, no, Nintendo

Okay, I'm lying

There she is, watching TV

All My Children, no, that's Cosby

No, Speed Racer, Shaft

No, that's Kimba

My fault, the TV's off

There she is, what a doll

No, that's Chucky from Child's Play

I kiss her and she told me this was home

I entered a dimension called The Twilight Zone

Where anything can happen

I'm rough like sandpaper, hard like algebra

You should be glad that I was nice

And I allowed you to step on stage

To kick your rhymes off

I tried to be nice, but you mistook that for softness

Now it's over, to hell with your opinion

What I say goes from now on, this is my dominion

I dare any rapper to step on stage

'Cause if you do, you'll feel the force of my rage

I'm on a rampage

Psyche, just kiddin'

Jeff wanted to do that, but I didn't

I thought that it would make the record dumb

I guess I wasn't wrong

Mary had a little lamb

Her fleece was white as snow

And everywhere that Mary went

So did Humpty Dumpty

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To fetch a pail of water

Jack fell down and broke his crown

Hickory, dickory, dock

Got to use the bathroom now

Psyche, I was drafted