Hey, Kid

Hey, kid

Everyone's waiting on you, kid

Everyone's wondering what you'll do, kid

It's true kid

Me too, kid

Hey, kid

We're so excited

Just to know you'll soon be here

Say, kid

We're both delighted

Though that may not seem so clear

But I did my o.b. rotation

So I know the ins and outs

And you're an act of God's creation

So I'm fine with all the doubts

I'm a doctor and a soldier

I've been shelled, and under fire

But kid

If I say that you don't scare me, I'm a liar

Now kid

You did surprise me

Though I know the facts of life

Wow, kid

It terrifies me

Just to say "My pregnant wife"

'Cause kid, I gotta tell ya

I'm not ready, not a bit

There's this macho act I'll sell ya

While inside I lose my shit

It's not that I don't want you

'Cause I do, despite my fears

But kid

Is it true you'll stick around for eighteen years?

Then the call comes on the iPhone

I grab a cab cross town

I find her on the fourth floor

And they've got her in the gown

She's never looked less lovely

She's a grump and she's got gas

And the labor's eighteen hours

Oh my God, kid, move your ass

Then at last you make your entrance

And, well, kid, you're quite a sight

I'll be honest – you're disgusting

But I know that you're all right

Though you're screaming and you're spitting

And I can't quite see your charms

They clean you and they clothe you

And they put you in my arms

And I realize, in an instant

That I've known you all along

That I've wanted you forever

That I'll never do you wrong

And whatever this world comes to

And whatever comes our way

I will watch you, and protect you

I promise, kid, we'll be okay

We'll be okay

We'll be okay

Hey

Kid

I feel like yelling

Ring the bell and bang the drum

Say, kid

There's just no telling all the things that you'll become

And I think we'll have some fun here

Your mom, and you, and me

And before your time is done here

Kid of mine, I hope you'll see

That this life is what you make it

It's cliché, which means it's true

And kid

It makes my life to know I helped make you

As a father, kid, I may not have a clue

But your mom and me will somehow muddle through

If my asshole dad could do it, I can too

In fact, I'll do better, I'll start new

'Cause kid

My kid

Our kid

I love you