Drug of Choice

Yeah, uh-huh, caliche let's be honest, I can't get you off my mind moving on and staying stuck is like I can just cannot decide. We made the perfect couple because we're both one-of-a-kind. Yes, no .well maybe. Should we give this another try? I'm having trouble handling all these pictures I see online, so I close my eyes and drift away and just wish that I was blind. We might have work if we had met at a different time, but we'll never know. I've stopped looking for things I'll never find. I'm giving this my all as I'm trying to follow my calling, and as I am talking about the times I have triumphed, I have fallen. I try to smile but I'm not the one who pretend. Look, I wrote you a million texts I just never hit send. I'm not trying to hear that I'm better off without you. Cleary you don't understand that there is just something about you. I don't have the time, I'm busy taking an early grave. I sat around waiting for something that never came. I'm dead inside, as I exhale the coldest breath. It's hard to accept the present when your life is so full of regrets. At moments I just want to end it all, diminish through the stress, but God will whisper quietly that he's not finished with me yet. But our relationship lately is non-existent because anything I talk about, I fear he doesn't listen. Am I being tested? Am I being heard? The last time that I prayed I was yelling at the words "f you and this entire concept and this idea of love!" Take me back to how it used to be. I like it the way it was back when everything was simple, no responsibilities. Now it's nothing but drama and honestly it is killing me. Silent screams turn into Survivor dreams. I always share my story but I'm as private as can be. I'm staring at this blank page like fuck it, it can write itself. I do this s alone so f it I don't ever need your help. Forget it I don't need it. The struggles that I'm dealing with there has to be a meaning. Everything I'm going through there has to be a reason. Failure is the only topic untilthe moment I succeeded. I told you from the gate, I would always be there by your side and even though we don't speak, what I said, it still applies. Challenges with bridges I have crossed, it's crazy to think I can deal with death better than I can deal with loss. My listeners know me more than my friends do. I've caused so much damage but I never really meant to. I never cared about opinions from anyone else but people have more faith in me than I have in myself THIS is me I never plagiarized the script. Learning to love myself again has been my greatest gift. All these images of me and you, you and I. regardless of what has happened, understand I truly tried. You're one of the most gorgeous girls that I have ever seen before. When it came to the attention, I was begging till my knees were sore. I gave you a piece of my heart. You gave me a piece of yours, until we parted ways, both of us thinking that we needed more. Yes, I got you. I'm the one to defend your back. I will always be your number one fan, always remember that. I'm giving you the vision of a twisted, manic depressive suppressing my confessions, masochistic randomly Pleasant Expressions that are essential. My journey never was less than, experiences, at first, convey it through my messages. You're special. Don't let anyone ever tell you different. I promise you these intentions were good and never malignant. Be proud of yourself for everything you've fought through. The only thing that these other girls have in common is that they're not you. so go and get everything that you want and nothing less, because you deserve the world, yeah, you deserve the best. These mistakes were only mine, and I own. Before I feel this pain again I'd rather die alone. You're the one of the most beautiful souls I have ever known. I travel such a dark, hideous, gruesome, and lonely road. I almost called you just to hear your voice, but then I threw the phone, thinking "what's the point?". No chemical could ever fill this void. only you 'Cause you're my drug of choice