The Happiest Home in These Hills

I'll cook you cake and gingerbread, bring you tea in bed, on a tray We'll slave while you go fishin', you'll get permission to run and play These tears oughta show you I care, come back, by crackin' we"ll share the happiest home in these hills, in these hills Gonna stag him, gag him, drag him through town, put his head in the river, let the pup drown Trap him, strap him, wrap him in a sack, yeah Tie him screamin' to a railroad track We'll have you sing in chapel, you'll be the apple of Mama's eye I'll tend to all you sewing, and do your mowing, so just rely on me Dang, we know you're out there, it's late! We're waiting to share the happiest home in these hills, in these hills Gonna paw him, saw him in half, when he cries out for mercy, we'll just laugh Beat him, heat him, eat him for desert, yeah Roast him gently so the flames won't hurt, yeah Spread out! You'll swim, and you'll go campin', you'll be a champ in your own backyard Our love is overflowin', it keeps on goin' We'll sleep good knowin' you're hooooooome, in these hills We're gonna string him from a tree In these hills We're gonna sting him like a bee In these hills We're gonna spill him on his head In these hills We're gonna fill him full of lead In these hills In these hills In these hills In these hills In these hills