Worst. Christmas. Ever. (feat. Nick Adduci)

Twas the night before Christmas day, and all the elves was busy loading up the sleigh

Jolly Santa was still out getting his kicks, and some old reindeer was out learning new tricks

When one of the elves say man we got to go, we're way behind and it's beginning to snow

Just then Rudolph with a bloody nose come riding Santa with stains of whiskey on his clothes

Mrs. Claus say Santa baby, now where you been all night? You got about 45 minutes before the daylight

The big man grabbed his boots and was on his way, and started flying into JFK

Saying Ho! Ho ho ho ho ho

Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho

Them shiny jingle bells was ringing

And all the little children, they was singing

When Santa pulled in to New York town, a customs agent was waving him down

Said Mr. Claus your passport is 100 years old, and began to argue until Santa knocked the man out cold

And then the TSA told the CIA, Santa had to quickly flee the USA

Made his escape and was riding real cool, until they shot him down over Istanbul

And all the reindeer started running around, and all the toys was broken laying on the ground

Santa ran to the nearest house and bust down the door, which is where he passed out upon the floor

Saying Ho! Ho ho ho ho ho

Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho

Them shiny jingle bells was ringing

And all the little children, they was singing

When Santa woke up on Christmas day, everyone around was laughing all the way

Then Santa Claus like a fat foolish elf had realized that he had soiled himself

And he bought a ticket on the train, and with what little pride that remained

He shouted and he gave such a fright, Merry Christmas and have a good night

Saying Ho! Ho ho ho ho ho

Ho ho ho ho ho ho ho ho

Them shiny jingle bells was ringing

And all the little children, they was still singing