The Cutening

If this trash heap had a twinkle In its little trash heap eyes If this sewer rat had rosy cheeks This bus became pint-size What if all the dogs were puppies And the puppies all were sad? What if cuttlefish were cuddly And we pedicured your dad? What if you could kiss a pigeon (Without contracting lyme disease)? All the chairs were beanbags (Made of soft, delicious cheese) If this moldy bread had a smile (That was fifty shades of green) What if this pirate stop frowning ('Cause his head was a jelly bean)? What if, what if, what if The world was cuter? What if, what if, what if A little more kawaii What if, what if, what if We all rode scooters? And we'd all have our chance to shine What if this red-faced man looked happy And this one's rancor looked more refined What if Tuck Buck was your true love So sweet and valentined (So sweet and valentined) What if old shoes were more bouncy Yeah, and they still had their squeak Naked mole rats wore a sweater And grizzly bears were meek We'll dress up this suit of armor In a stone-washed denim skirt Turn the Nile into a babbling brook And make Niagra a little squirt What if, what if, what if The world was cuter What if, what if, what if A little more kawaii What if, what if, what if We all rode scooters And we'd all have our chance to shine It's been four weeks, we can't stop singing And we've slowly gone insane There's a gumdrop wrapped in rainbows Where there used to be my brain We have to end this nightmare I've got sugar in my eyes Please make it stop We can't endure another cute reprise What if, what if, what if The pigeon is the answer What if, what if, what if We held it close What if, what if, what if We turned it all back What if, what if, what if By doing something gross