The Day You Died

Was that really you, feeding from a tube?

 

You could not swallow, the day you died

Did I see you drumming All Together Now?

With shaking hands? I smiled with pride.

 

I stood by your side, I, who used to turn away

 

I ran my finger down the arches of your brows

Your students all knew them so well

They looked like wings but could not fly you away

From where you lay choking to death

 

Your mind once so acute, so strange and so astute

Couldn’t even tell your tongue what to do

Couldn’t swallow, couldn’t whistle, couldn’t chew

 

In the house that held your fate

I took the vow you made me make

 

To pull the plug, to give the drugs

To let you die, with dignity and pride

           

I told the doctor that you always had been clear

Your life would not deny your death

We let go, we said no

Just like your father taught you to, and now I learn from you

 

The call awoke us and

We rushed right back to your side

To feel you rise out of your chest

I ran my finger down the arches of your brows

I lay cut flowers on your breast

I hugged you, I had to

Your frame was stiff inside my arms

Then you were gone