The Auctioneer

There was a boy in Arkansas and he wouldn’t listen to his Ma

She told him that he should go to school

He’d sneak away in the afternoon, take a little walk then pretty soon

You’d find him at the local auction barn

He’d stand and listen carefully, then pretty soon he’d begin to see

How the auctioneer would talk so rapidly

So he said oh my it’s do or die I’ve got to learn the auction cry

Gotta make my mark and be an auctioneer

Twenty-five dollar bid it now thirty dollar thirty

Will you give me thirty make it thirty

Bid it up at thirty dollars will you give me thirty

Who’ll bid a thirty dollar bid.

Thirty dollar bid it now thirty-five

Will you give me thirty-five and

Make thirty-five to bid it thirty-five

Who will bid it at a thirty-five dollar bid

As time went on he did his best, they all could see he didn’t jest

To practice calling bids both night and day

His Pap would find him behind the barn, just working up an awful storm

Trying to imitate the auctioneer

His pap said son we just can’t stand to have a mediocre man

Selling things at auction using our good name

I’ll send you off to auction school, then you’ll be nobody’s fool

You will take your place among the best

Thirty-five dollar bid it now forty dollar forty

Will you give me forty make it forty

Bid it up at forty dollars will you give me forty

Who’ll bid a forty dollar bid.

Forty dollar bid it now forty-five

Will you give me forty-five and

Make forty-five to bid it forty-five

Who will bid it at a forty-five dollar bid

So from the boy that went to school there grew a man who played it cool

He came back home a full-fledged auctioneer

And the people came from miles around to hear him make that rhythmic sound That filled their hearts with such a happy cheer

His fame spread out from shore to shore, and he had all he could do and more

He had to buy a plane to get around

Well, now he’s the top in all the land, let’s all give that man a hand

He’s the best of all the auctioneers.

Forty-five dollar bid it now fifty dollar fifty

Will you give me fifty make it fifty

Bid it up at fifty dollars will you give me fifty

Who’ll bid a fifty dollar bid.

Fifty dollar bid it now fifty-five

Make fifty-five to bid it fifty-five

I sold a hog for a fifty dollar bill

And I sold a hog for a fifty dollar bill