Hanging in the park, late at night. when headlights start shining in our eyes

Out of the van a Munster appeared; and give us tickets and took away our beers

Lurch, you bastard

Tall, dark and gruesome. His shadow lurking over them

Following crusties as he goes. The beers are hidden, but Lurch still knows!

Lurch, you bastard!

He's tall, ugly and come to dump your forty ounce

Better be aware: or Lurch will arrest you

Lurch you bastard! Fuck you, leave me alone, go away!

Lurch is a bastard

Hide the beers quick, don't get caught; cause Lurch is smarter than you thought

Creepy, crawling, sneaking up, from out of the shadows to lock you up

Lurch, you bastard

Can't drink beer in Tompkins Square or Officer Munn's gonna arrest you

Lurking out in the the shadows, the city of New York's gonna ticket you

No fun anywhere with the Mayor's goons on the loose. You can't drink a beer in Tompkins Square

Officer munn arrests you

Lurch pretends that he is your friend; but, he'll still get you in the end

The night stick shoves you along; behind bars you'll be singing this song

Lurch, you bastard!