In Praise of Women (Act One)

She wouldn't Therefore they didn't So then it wasn't Not unless it- Would she? She doesn't God knows she needn't Therefore it's not He'd never Therefore they haven't Which makes the question absolutely Could she? She daren't Therefore I mustn't What utter rot! Fidelity is more than mere display It's what a man expects from life Fidelity like mine to Desiree And Charlotte, my devoted wife How was miss Desiree Armfelt? In good health, I trust? Charlotte, my dear I have exactly five hours Five hours this time! Last time it was four I'm gaining ground She had a visitor A lawyer in a nightshirt Now that I find interesting What did you do? Threw him out In a nightshirt? In my nightshirt! What sort of a lawyer? Corporation? Maritime? Criminal? Testamentary? Didn't you sister's little school friend Anne Sorensen marry a Fredrick Egerman? Yes, she did Fredrick Egerman The papers He mentioned papers Some legal papers which I didn't see there Where were they The goddamn papers She had to sign? What nonsense! He brought her papers They were important, so he had to be there I'll kill him! Why should I bother? The woman's mine! Besides, no matter what one might infer One must have faith to some degree The least that I can do is trust in her The way that Charlotte trusts in me What are your planning to do today? After the five hours? Right now. I need a little sleep Ah, I see In that case my plans will have to be changed What will I do? I know! Nothing Why don't you pay a visit to Martha's little school friend? Ah ha She probably has no idea what her husband's up to And I could enlighten her Ah, well If I'm back in two hours, that still leaves us three hours, right? You're a good wife, Charlotte The best That's a comforting thought to take with my to town, dear Just may keep me from cutting my throat on the tram Capable Pliable Women Women Undemanding and reliable Knowing their place Insufferable, yes, but gentle Their weaknesses are incidental A functional but ornamental Race Durable Sensible Women Women Very nearly indispensable Creatures of grace God knows the foolishness about them But if one had to live without them The world would surely be a poorer If purer place The hip-bath About that hip-bath How can you slip and trip into a hip-bath? The papers Where were the papers? Of course, he might have taken back the papers She wouldn't Therefore they didn't The woman's Mine!