Golf Girl

Standing on a golf course Dressed in PVC I chanced upon a golf girl Selling cups of tea She asked me did I want one Asked me with a grin "For a threepence you can have one Full right to the brim" So of course I had to have one In fact I ordered three So I could watch the golf girl Could see she fancied me Her name was Pat And we sat under a tree She kissed me Well, she said she would If I went away again really quickly She asked me did I want one She hadn't gone all day Then she would call the policeman If I didn't go away So of course I had to have one In fact I ordered three So I could watch the golf girl Could see she fancied me And later on the golf course After drinking tea It started raining golf balls And she protected me Her name was Pat Yeah And we sat under a tree She kissed me We'd go for walks (Go for walks) In the fine weather (In the fine weather) In the all together Hey, I just had a really great idea Why don't we take off all our clothes And jump in the sand pits Oh, come on Oh, it's a bit wet Yeah Yeah, brilliant Come on Oh look, I found some golf balls Yeah Oh, that was brilliant Can I have my clothes back now Hey, you're not a golf girl (No, Neil, I'm your fairy godmother And I've come to shop you to the police You dirty little bastard) Oh no (Get in that van, slick) Ow Are you the nice policeman or a nasty one Ow Standing on a golf course Drinking cups of tea I chanced upon a golf girl Dressed in PVC And later on the golf course After drinking tea It started raining policemen And they arrested me (This is really serious) I was only jumping in the sand pits (You're gonna get ten years for this) Ow (Now, hold out your hands While I kick you in the bollocks) Aren't you going to say "Anything you say will be taken down And used in evidence" against me And then I can say "trousers" And it be, like, a really good joke Ow Ow.