I Could've Been

You never wanted to see me leave this. I never wanted to stick around. And there's a rainstorm in my head that I just can't outrun right now. I'm faking smiles and stomachs aches so I can get away. Sometimes I think that I'm the only one who feels this way. The only things holding me back are my own thoughts in my head. And I can't understand why I can't just move on and get passed them. It's probably my own fault, and who's to say I can't fix it? But maybe sometimes life just gets in the way. I thought that with a change of pace, that I could get the hang of this. You're just another something that I can't seem to erase. I thought that with a change of pace, that things would start to feel okay again. I guess I'm never gonna learn. I tried to make it to the ending of a book I never read. I'm relapsing to my old self trying to skip all these steps. I'm faking smiles and stomach aches when I start to feel trapped. It's hard to breathe. I never thought that I would lie to the ones who stay close to me. I thought that with a change of pace, that I could get the hang of this. You're just another something that I can't seem to erase. I thought that with a change of pace, that things would start to feel okay again. I guess I'm never gonna learn. Could you tell I wasn't honest? (I could've been.) I couldn't be all that you wanted