"The World's Greatest Criminal Mind"

My friends We are about to embark upon the most devious, most evil, the most diabolical scheme of my illustrious career A crime to top all crimes A crime that will live in infamy! Tomorrow evening, our beloved mother celebrates her diamond jubilee And with the enthusiastic help of our good friend Mr. Flabershqm It promises to be a night she will never forget Her last night, and my first As supreme ruler of all mousedom From the brain that brought you the Big Ben Caper The head that made headlines in every newspaper And wondrous things like the Tower Bridge Job That cunning display that made Londoners sob Now comes the real tour de force Tricky and wicked, of course My earlier crimes were fine for their times But now that I'm at it again An even grimmer plot has been simmering In my great criminal brain Even meaner? You mean it? Worse than the widows and orphans you drowned? You're the best of the worst around Oh, Ratigan Oh, Ratigan The rest fall behind To Ratigan To Ratigan The world's greatest criminal mind! Thank you, thank you... but it hasn't all been champagne and caviar. I've had my share of adversity thanks to that miserable, second-rate detective, Basil of Baker Street! For years, that insufferable pipsqueak has interfered with my plans! I haven't had a moment's peace of mind. But all that's in the past! This time, nothing, not even Basil can stand in my way! All will bow before me! Oh, Ratigan Oh, Ratigan You're tops and that's that To Ratigan To Ratigan To Ratigan, the world's greatest rat! What was THAT!? What did you call me? Oh, he didn't mean it, Professor! It was just a slip of the tongue! I am NOT a rat! 'Course you're not! You're a mouse! Yeah, that's right; right, a mouse! Yeah, a big mouse! SILENCE! Oh, my dear Bartholomew, I'm afraid that you've gone and upset me. You know what happens when someone upsets me... Oh, Ratigan Oh, Ratigan You're the tops and that's that. Oh, dear To Ratigan To Ratigan To Ratigan The world's greatest... Oh, Felicia, my precious, my baby. Did Daddy's little honey-bunny enjoy her tasty treat? I trust there shall be no further interruptions. And now, as you were singing...? Even louder Let's shout it! No one can doubt what we know you can do You're more evil than even you Oh, Ratigan Oh, Ratigan You're one of a kind To Ratigan To Ratigan The world's greatest criminal mind!