I Wish

I wish I wasn't fat, I wish I wasn't gay I wish I wasn't black, I wish that I was brave I wish, I wish, I wish with every candle on the cake That I could quit doin' these drugs, but I can't and I'm afraid I wish that I was smart, I wish that I was rich I wish it wasn't hard for me to grow up and forgive I wish that I could help, I wish I wasn't sick I wish that I was Tom MacDonald, I'd be just like him I wish I wasn't sober, I miss it when the party wasn't over Happiness was right around the corner Every single night was like the best one of our lives, now we're older The good old days are out of reach, I wish that they were closer I wish I wasn't anxious, and I wish I could fast forward And I wish that I could rewind, but they don't make that controller I wish the nights were longer, and I wish the days were shorter And I wish that I could sleep enough to maintain my composure I feel crazy, I wish that I was normal I wish that I could kill myself, but also be immortal Take me to the oracle, I heard that time is borrowed Can you give me back my yesterdays? I'll give you my tomorrows Forget all of my morals and just live like I cannot remember sorrow Before all of the tattoos and the cornrows I was different, I was happy, I was calmer, I was young and full of hormones Now I'm wishing for a time machine, I'd step into that portal and be gone I wish on shooting stars, or were they satellites? Maybe they were too far, hey-oh-nah-nah I must've blown apart a million dandelions Now they don't grow in my yard, hey-oh-nah-nah I wish I didn't care about the day that I'd be buried Used to live like I was ready for it, always in a hurry Now I'm worried, all my memories are blurry I'm just barely turning 30, and the voices in my head are tryna hurt me The choices that I made make me feel dirty, I was 25 at 13 I was smoking with the seniors, drinking beer and getting flirty Now the Ativan ain't working, I need something even stronger Give me childhood, my mother, and my father, and my sister And a Christmas to make up for all the recent ones I missed While I'm touring the country for a living Give me a hug, and a Nintendo, and a toy box in the closet Give me everything I wish I had, oh wait, I think I got it I'm a rapper like I always promised them I would accomplish This is awesome, man, I wish I had a friend to tell, I'd call him And I wonder if I jumped from here, if I'd survive the bottom And would everyone believe me if I told 'em I had fallen? I'ma jump I wish on shooting stars, or were they satellites? Maybe they were too far, hey-oh-nah-nah I must've blown apart a million dandelions Now they don't grow in my yard, hey-oh-nah-nah I wish we were kids again Before everything was on Instagram, hey-oh The things were so simple then Me, my tree fort, all of my friends Way back when on Beaver Drive When the floor was lava, I could fly, hey-oh Wished I was big like them Never thought I'd wanna be a kid again I wish on shooting stars, or were they satellites? Maybe they were too far, hey-oh-nah-nah I must've blown apart a million dandelions Now they don't grow in my yard, hey-oh-nah-nah I wish on shooting stars, or were they satellites? Maybe they were too far, hey-oh-nah-nah I must've blown apart a million dandelions Now they don't grow in my yard, hey-oh-nah-nah