On the Open Road

Do ya need a break from modern livin'? Do ya long to shed your weary load? If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried Just grab a friend and take a ride Together upon the open road (come on, Maxie, ah-yuck) All in all, I'd rather have detention All in all, I'd rather eat a toad (yuck) And the old man drives like such a klutz That I'm about to hurl my guts Directly upon the open road There's nothin' can upset me 'Cause now we're on our way Our trusty map will guide us straight and true Roxanne, please don't forget me I will return someday Though I may be in traction when I do Me and Max relaxin' like the old days (this is worse) (Than dragon breath and acne) in a buddy-buddy Kind of mode (I'm so mad) (I think I may explode) when I see that highway, I could cry Ya know, that's funny, so could I Just bein' out on the open road Howdy, boys, is this the way to Nashville? Watch it, Mac, or you'll be gettin' towed! I'm in no hurry to arrive 'Cause I'll be turnin' 65 The next time I seize the open road Just a week of rest and relaxation (yeah) And the odd romantic episode (very odd) Ha ha, and it's Californ-I-A or bust Look out, you dirtbags, eat my dust From now on, I own the open road It's me and little Maxie My pipsqueak pioneer They're partners forever westward ho, yee-haw Could someone call a taxi And get me outta here To Beverly Hills 90210 Oh, every day, another new adventure Every mile, another new zip code And the cares we had are gone for good And I'd go with them if I could I've got no strings on me I'm feelin' fancy-free How wonderful to be On the open road