I'm torn apart please someone help

I'm falling apart please somebody help

I'm torn by the scars that were given to me

I'm torn by the scars I gave someone else

I always knew life wouldn't be easy

For me, or the guy I just said thank you too

And I have never helped anybody

Thinking that once I was done a thank you was due

I am not torn because of humanity

Or what any one person has ever done to me

I am torn because who I plan to be and who I am never once come into one you see

Maybe I see things in a different light

Maybe saying these things isn't right

Where did I go wrong what am I missing am I

Just explaining this in a twisted sight?

Please don't miss what I'm given I

Want you to see that Jesus died

Yes I know that I am forgiven but why am i?

Laying here praying asking God about what is right

Or what is wrong when it comes to sovereignty

Tell me God how I oughta see

Who you are and who I oughta be

Am I in the dark or in an odyssey

From the start were you not in me

Look in my heart I have God in me

How do I understand who I am in you

If I'm stilling yearning to understand what's true

I try to smile more than I cry

And every time walk away wiping my eyes

Is it suppose to be a never ending fight

Or am I over here just living a lie

Or is what I'm saying make sense in your brain

I wanna make sense of the pain

God I am torn apart and confused tell me who you are not peoples doctrinal claim

Someone closest to me told me to give the fear to God but truth is if I'm speaking openly

Why should I give all I got over to him off of the basis of I'm simply hoping he

Answers my prayers honestly all of these questions never cease to continue provoking me

I probably should shut up now cause all I'm learning is that once again is that ima broken being

I'm torn apart please someone help

I'm falling apart please somebody help

I'm torn by the scars that were given to me

I'm torn by the scars that I gave somebody else

I feel like my effort are some peoples biggest fears

At least that's how it appears

Pretty crazy I told that very thing to someone I still believe in and hold very dear

I guess I deserve the hurt the I'm feeling now

I preserved my worth into a bank account

Only to learn my worth wasn't in the bank amount

But whether or not you can learn to lay it down

And learn that the worth of a man is not the worth of a man

Or whether or he's got working hands

But whether or not he can be a godly man and become more than a godly plan

To live your life laying it down for another person

Praying into the night "God show me the purpose"

Hard to slay my enemies when I not a friend of me

Hard to not pretend I am more mature than I am

My biggest weakness isn't the struggle for meekness

I struggle with living for Jesus

I feel like I just blow every opportunity

And can never quite get to a proper unity

Even that's not what I'm trinna do you see

All I want to be in life is to be the happy couple

But my failures wont ever let that come to pass

Maybe I don't understand will I ever get past

Being torn left and right constantly be my past

Honestly talking about this is just pouring gas

I cant go anywhere cause I cant read this map

And I cant read the signs

Does anything last

If I don't become more than I guy

No matter how hard I try

No matter how far I climb

I feel like all I do is recline

Always giving a 10 outa 10

Feeling like I'm not worth a dime

I pray God forgive me even though I know I'll do it again

Once again do it to him

Why do I feel like all I ever do is sin

Why do I feel like nothings changing

Why do I feel like everything's rearranging

Last 2 bars aren't the same listen to what I'm saying

Is the existence of life magic?

Or Is the existence of life tragic?

I'm torn apart please someone help

I'm falling apart please somebody help

I'm torn by the scars that were given to me

I'm torn by the scars I gave someone else