29 Things

We’ve got 29 objects to our name

Items we bought when we shot to fame

Just 29 things might not seem like a lot

But wait till we run down the stuff we’ve got

My name’s Dan and I bought a seal

I went to an aquarium and got a sweet deal

It lives in my bath and eats so much trout

It’s not paying rent, I wish that I could kick it out

My name’s Rich and I bought a top hat

It’s tall, jet black with a brim so flat

I feel like it gives me some additional class

And people might finally respect me at last

I’m Charlie and I’ve got a ninja sword

The most dangerous item that i could afford

My sensei says I shouldn’t use it this way;

When I’m in the kitchen choppin crudite

I got crossbow an apple and a sodastream

My next weekend's going to be a fucking dream

I bought a new washer/dryer - 8 kilogram drum

I wasn’t happy with the capacity of the old one

They got twenty nine things, and that’s all they need

'Cos the World's too full of pain, suffering and greed

Just twenty nine things, may not seem much to you

But they’ve still got each other so it’s really 32 come on!

I bought a trip for a Carribean cruise

Hey! That’s not an item that you can re-use

Maybe the item is the ticket instead?

No! The item is the memories that live inside my head

I bought a lazy susan to rotate my jams

Hey Rich, pass the marmalade; sure, here you go man

I bought a life-size cutout of myself

And it’s dripping with jewels to show off my wealth

I bought some vintage cheddar; matured in a cave

'Cos the flavour profile gets better with age

I’d pair that cheddar with a crisp white wine;

This bottle was reduced to £4.99

Hey Dan, I didn’t know you were a sommelier

Oh, sorry, I didn’t have a bath today

But that's ok; you can use my new shower;

It takes a layer of skin off when you use it full power

Chorus

They got twenty nine things, and not an item more

That's all they could afford when they went in to the store

Just twenty nine things, it's easy if you try

Just add it to your basket and buy buy buy come on!

Just remember kids, it's not all about what you’ve got,

it’s about the journey, the friendships you made, the people that made you laugh and cry,

that moved you, that changed the world, and you can change the world too

I bought a walrus to retrieve my lost seal

But they’ve formed an alliance and shit’s got real

So I bought a manatee to keep them in line

But its authority they constantly undermine

I bought a dozen eggs 'cos there was nothing in the cupboard

And now I'm going to make an omelette motherfucker!

Does that count as 12 items or just 1?

I think it’s probably 12 'cos we’re running out as

of song

I bought a pair of clogs down in Amsterdam

From a handsome man; kinda looked like you Dan (Thanks)

I got 29 things but a pitch ain’t one;

I rang the caravan club but they’d run out of space

A seal, top hat and a ninja sword

Crossbow, apple, sodastream; that's all we could afford

Washer/dryer, lazy susan, memories of cruise

Life-size cutout, cheese, wine, shower; things that we can use

Walrus, clogs, manatee and a dozen eggs

Got 29 things but ain't gone to our heads

No, no, it ain’t gone to our heads

No, no, it ain’t gone to our heads

Come come come come on!