We Need Christmas (More Than Ever (This Year))

*General Commotion*

“Orderrr, order, order, or-der…ORDERRR!”

Thank you Mr Speaker, honourable members of the House,

There’s something weighing on my mind - I’ve just got to get it out.

It appears that everyone’s saying that Christmas might be off…

Well I’m telling you that’s just not an option,

This nonsense must stop!

Yes, there may be danger in meeting one’s we love,

And sure there may be risk involved in giving Gran a hug,

But she’s not getting younger and the young are missing out,

On the things we do together, that Christmas is about. Like…

Dancing to a song by Bing with a loved one in your arms,

Singing “Hark The Herald Angels Sing” with a yuletide spirit in your heart,

Feasting on delicious things with an overflowing glass -

We need warmth, we need cheer, we need wine, we need beer,

We need Christmas more than ever this year.

No ifs, no buts, more dry roasted nuts,

We need Christmas more than ever this year.

Well it’s hard to pull a cracker over FaceTime or Zoom,

Or kiss under the mistletoe unless you’re in the room,

And we’re not getting younger and the young are missing out,

On the things we do together, that Christmas, that Christmas is about!

Dancing to a song by Bing with a loved one in your arms,

Singing “Hark The Herald Angels Sing” with a yuletide spirit in your heart,

Feasting on delicious things with an overflowing glass -

We need warmth, we need cheer, we need Stilton, we need Gruyere,

We need Christmas more than ever this year.

No excuses, no fudging, more tonic with more gin in,

We need Christmas more than ever this year. Less gimmicks, more gimlets!

Now, now, now I don’t mean to sound flippant,

And I’m not taking you to task,

But it’s just “Hark The Herald Angels Sing”

Sounds guff behind a mask,

Let’s get physical, not digital,

Give me clementines, not quarantines,

I want a reindeer-riding, snowball-fighting,

Ginger-wine-ing, stars-a-shining,

Carol-singing, bells-a-ringing,

Mulled wine-chugging, granny-hugging,

Christmas from the Old School…

…with Brandy butter on top.

Dancing to a song by Bing with a loved one in your arms,

Singing “Hark The Herald Angels Sing” with a yuletide spirit in your heart,

Feasting on delicious things with an overflowing glass -

We need warmth, we need cheer, let me make this crystal clear,

We need Christmas more than ever this year. Certainly do!

No piffle, no waffle, actually I quite fancy a waffle…

We need Christmas more than ever this year,

We need Christmas more than ever,

We need Christmas more than ever,

We need Christmas more than ever…this…year

Merry Christmas everyone.