THE LIGHT

I give, my mom so, -mess In the same house my dad died in, all alone Tryin' not to be paranoid, tryin' not-, as they're calling it 'Cause every headline is a reminder that the world's fucked So I'm just tryin' to see the light In between the clouds Still love that sunshine When I look at myself, I see a broken man Remnants of my pops, put the Glock to his head Nothing ever go as planned, couldn't make amends Forcibly pretend I don't give a damn At a loss, aimless, six feet Deep, suffocatin', can't face it Can't change it, ain't make it Master plans by the maker, I see no savior Warped reflection in stainless steel, alcohol, and pills Deadly combination left with nothin' else to feel A floral haven, hope it was painless, I see you in the faces Places, am I making? Reflections off a broken mirror Fragments of my fear, glarin' back, like, "Who's there?" I can't stand myself, beside myself, I see you there I know you care, felt numb since September When I heard the news, what I'd do to speak one last time Think I always will be haunted by the image Of a bloody backdrop, skull fragments in the ceilin' Felt your presence in the room, heard my mother squealin' Master of disguises, ash to ash, dust to dust, voids behind my eyelids Blackin' out, bleedin' out, silence Louder than a twisted tongue lion As sick as our secrets, shadow people with needles Bathin' through a peephole Bedtime stories from purgatory, I miss you For the record, I can fly Around the world, absorbing light Something's missin' deep inside The light Somethin' changed in Texas, guess I missed the message Look, I missed my exit, I'm living like a Jetson I was broke and desperate, leanin' on my best friends Only shot callers I was around was bartendin' Ain't no love in this game, momma, this is not tennis Take your shoes off, we just did the carpetin' I could the take the hatin', I could take the praisin' It's all noise to me, I'll turn into Satan Y'all stuck in the Matrix, red pill, blue pill, all these different faces All these different cases, shit, y'all done seen me naked So I'ma wear what I want now and I ain't finna fake it Thank God I made it, thank God I seen God last summer I was standing on the bridge, I see all y'all under me Know you are struggling, niggas out here juggling Losin' jobs, well, losin' God, then everything is tumbling Feel Heaven rumbling, the rapture is comin' I love the attention, I'm a bastard in public I still struggle with tellin' my mom who I'm in love with Subtleties in between where these diamonds gleam When Thanksgiving come around, I still don't see 'em When Christmas come around, nigga, I still don't see 'em Told the world who I was before I got to know Ian To get my people money in exchange for they freedom I would give it all back for a chance to free 'em