Piles of Trouble

Well the blues is a musical form where yo' sing the first line twice

(I said) th' blues is a musical form where yo' sing the first line twice

That gives you 8 whole bars and a twiddly bit, to think up a last

line that rhymes with it.

I'm gonna play a blues guitar solo with my face contorted with pain

I'm gonna play a blues guitar solo with my face contorted with pain

Cos my gal done left me, I lost my job & my piles've flared up again

I got the piles so bad that it hurts my bum when I sneeze

I got the piles so bad they're slappin' against the backs of my knees, I got the piles so bad (I know) I just can't change em

And you can't cure piles you can only re-arrange em

I got piles of trouble, in my heart & in my soul,

(Heart Soul! Heart Soul! Heart Soul!)

I got piles of trouble..........bum bum bum

I know I can't cure em and I know I never will

I've tried dynamite, red hot pokers and a Black and Decker drill

I've tried sandpaper and a blow-lamp all around my anal area

And hydrochloric acid and a hungry Jack Russel Terrier

I got piles of trouble...