Tainted

Today I'm feeling

Like my head's gotten closer to the ceiling

Could be feeling low or I could be maturing

But I'll never know after what I'm enduring

Can I trust myself? I need assurance

Used to have high hopes on the weekends

You were down to earth but I would pretend

I had a different disposition, false pretense

Can't trust a guy who can't make sense

Of his personal flaws

Conversations with you were for a selfish cause and I

Didn't realise 'til it was too late

Different lies I'd make, it was a big mistake

I'd take my time, wishing I was better

Who I am inside, so I'd be more deserving to get her

I spend these countless nights alone

Missing those times you'd call my phone

But I know it's just a fantasy

You're not the one who's meant for me

I try to let these feels subside

Sensations I still fail to hide

Still hoped that we'd be whole again

Can't fix a love so tainted

Those times with you

I could never forget

My scattered thoughts

Keep me offset

The way we talked was commonplace

And I keep yearning for better days

My heart been aching not being with you

Why is moving on so hard to do?

It was clear our communication was not consistent

Despite all that, my flawed conscience was still insistent on

Keeping things working, I'd put the work in, nevertheless

Love's a box of chocolates, you'd have a few, I'd take the rest

I spend these countless nights alone

Missing those times you'd call my phone

But I know it's just a fantasy

You're not the one who's meant for me

I try to let these feels subside

Sensations I still fail to hide

Still hoped that we'd be whole again

Can't fix a love so tainted