Sober

Dear God I'm reachin' out I need some answers Hey-yo Smoke away my pain In a hope, one day, that I'll find my closure Lookin' in a mirror I hate that person, when I'm sober Same sad song, on repeat Like, when will this be over? Toss and turn, I can't get to sleep Now, my nights feel even colder Yeah, fightin' with the undertow, I'm tired of swimmin' I overcame some obstacles, but yet, I'm far from winnin' And please don't talk to me with that tone, when it's condescendin' It went from rainin', to it's pourin', now it's fuckin' hailin' Lord, I'm a sinner, please forgive me, 'cause, I'm stressin' daily I'm feeling guilty, 'cause I do not spend much time with family I'm 28, but yet, there's still no one that understands me I sit alone, in darkness, lost for words, as I am panting I still got some trauma, haven't fully healed from it Repeated actions, got my mind thinkin', I'ma plummet Wonder if I'll reach my full potential, I've been doubting Must be time to switch it up, change up my surroundings Smoke away my pain In a hope, one day, that I'll find my closure Lookin' in a mirror I hate that person, when I'm sober Same sad song, on repeat Like, when will this be over? Toss and turn, I can't get to sleep Now, my nights feel even colder My last relationship, it made me question, who I am Only toxic women, I'm attractin', there's a sign So unhealthy, constant tension, need a better plan I should be single, 'til I'm feelin' truly whole inside Look in my eyes, It's a horror story, can't describe it I'm goin' through the motions, everyday, on autopilot Maybe, see a therapist, so I can talk about it Instead of bein' so delusional, and not acknowledged Anxiety has got me on the edge, can hardly breathe I don't wanna die, before I leave a legacy I'm hopin' that my momma, truly fuckin' proud of me And I can flourish, as a person with sobriety Smoke away my pain In a hope, one day, that I'll find my closure Lookin' in a mirror I hate that person, when I'm sober Same sad song, on repeat Like, when will this be over? Toss and turn, I can't get to sleep Now, my nights feel even colder