School Song

Oi! New kid?

And so you think you're able

To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess

You will soon see

There's no escapin' tragedy

And even

If you put in heaps of effort

You're just wasting energy

'Cause your life as you know it, is ancient history

I have suffered in this jail

I've been trapped inside this cage for ages

This living hell!

But if I try, I can remember

Back before my life had ended

Before my happy days were over

Before I first heard the peeling of the bell

Like you, I was curious

So innocent, I asked a thousand questions

But unless you want to suffer

Listen up and I will teach you

A thing or two

You listen here, my dear

You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line

And if you cry, it will be double

You should stay out of trouble

And remember to be extremely careful

Why?

Why?

Why? Did you hear what we said?

Just you wait for Phys-Ed!

What's Phys-Ed?

Physical education

The Trunchbull's specialty

Who are you?

We're prefects, we're here to take you to class

So we're going to start learning?

Oh, you'll start learning, alright

Great! I already know the alphabet!

You don't know the alphabet until we learn you the alphabet

And so you think you're able

To survive this mess by being a prince or a princess

You will soon see

There's no escaping tragedy

And even

If you put in heaps of effort

You're just wasting energy

'Cause your life as you know it is ancient history

I have suffered in this jail

I've been trapped inside this cage for ages

This living hell!

But if I try, I can remember

Back before my life had ended

Before my happy days were over

Before I first heard the peeling of the bell

Like you, I was curious

So innocent, I asked a thousand questions

But unless you want to suffer

Listen up and I will teach you

A thing or two

You listen here, my dear

You'll be punished so severely if you step out of line

And if you cry it will be double

You should stay out of trouble

And remember to be extremely careful

Why?

Why?

Why? Didn't you hear what we said?

I have become aware that some of you are not yet in class

Correct this, you have five seconds to comply

A, B, C, D, E, F, G (five)

H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P (four!)

Q, R, S, T, U, V, W, X (three)

Y, Y, Y, Y, Y, Y, Y (two)

Lavender, Matilda, inside, quick!

(One!) Just you wait for Phys-Ed!