Growing Pains

Reminding myself I don't get to decide

If I'm a good person or not

There's pieces of me I don't quite understand

But I see that there's harm they could cause

So I swallow that pill with flat gingerale

And start digging everything out of my gut

And growing pains hurt like a bitch

But there was somebody in me that I couldn't become

Is this real life?

It feels really bad sometimes

Covering my eyes

Tell me when it's safe outside

You asked for nothing back

And you gave me everything

I don't wanna hide

I wanna do something right

Reminding myself I can't learn anything if I act like I already know

You've always seen right through my bullshit

And I needed it

More than you even knew

But I'll hurt myself bad without blinking

And wanna know why that's a thing that I do

And you've gotten close

And I can't shake the feeling I'm already hurting you too

This is real life

I'm moving through space and time

Sometimes I forget

I need to remember that

You ask for nothing back

And you gave me so much time

I don't wanna die

I wanna do something right

I wanna do something