That Dirty Old Man

For over thirty years I've cried myself to sleep

Assailed by doubts and fears so great

The gods themselves would weep

The moment I am gone

I wonder where he'll go

In all your simple honesty

You can't begin to know

Oh, oh

Oh, oh

I want him

I need him

Where is he?

That dirty old man is here somewhere

Cavorting with someone young and fair

Disporting in every shameless whim

Just wait'll I get my hands on him!

I'll hold him

Hold him

Where is he?

That dirty old man, where can he be?

Profaning our vows for all to see

Complaining how he's misunderstood

Abusing me -if he only would

Oh love

Sweet love

Why hide?

You vermin, you worm, you villain!

Confess

And press your bride

Wherever he is, I know he's still an angel

My angel

Where is he?

That dirty old man divine!

I love him

I loathe him

That lecherous, lewd, lascivious, loathsome, lying, lazy

Dirty old man of mine!