Denial

I got trauma from the stuff I’ve seen in ends when I been stepping

No therapy, just medication they prescribed to me

Kush n money that’s an antidepressant

N just in case, you take this kitch knife for the anxiety.

I ain’t ask to be woke, I’m alert Cah I ain’t trynna sleep

In a city where you’ll meet your maker for some ice, it’s peak

I made heart cold like I was told

They said it’d make it easier to cope, them olders lied to me.

Been a man since a child

They ask me if I’m good I say I’m blessed I’m in denial

Cah you get used to lying in the wild

And you get used to fighting in the trails.

Got a lotta pain but imma Hide it with a smile

Only time I speak on it when I’m venting on the page

N I been advocating for depending on the faith

But brodie said he only see God in a pendant on chain.

Cah it’s hell on the strip, shot n flip, for the chips,

Gotta win, want a whiz, golden wrap , on the rims

If these jobs won’t take me in, I’m making dough on the streets

How we still under-protected but we over-policed.-

Aint much hope for the Gs,

Homes were broken n cheap,

Saw the olders in rovers n rolls n jeeps.

Offa crow n the b, rather run it up with them then sit here low feeling weak,

Mask the pain, with papes then the whole thing repeats.

Broken men make broken men

Make broken homes make broken ends

But if I change up now we gon’ end up broke again

Man it’s been foul for me n my bros n friends

Imma hold it down the only way I know to fend

Been the man since a child

They ask me if I’m good I say I’m blessed I’m in denial

Cah you get used to lying in the wild

And you get used to fighting in the trails. -

Came into a foreign land

Where we were bottom band

We learnt to play the cards we’re dealt,

Not wish for another hand.

Humility from faith but prides from the motherland,

So at times I’m contradictory, you gotta understand.

They told us the London streets would be paved with gold

But it’s just black boys blood I see pave the road

The land they make you idolise it breaks your souls,

So pops couldn’t show us no emotion he just made the dough.

It’s like the immigrants curse I’m

A dilligent earner,

Compromised my peace for this brilliant ferver.

War with my home, so I’m militant, learnt the

Resilience, murders is imminent, burners

At large,

In the fire it’s just burning n scars

So you put your joy second, get your earnings n start

It’s like to keep it real you gotta learn the facade

Now they warn criticise everything we learnt from their harm.

Been the man since a child

They ask me if I’m good I say I’m blessed I’m in denial

Cah you get used to lying in the wild

And you get used to fighting in the trails.