What's the next step in my path?

I'm not sure about the future, wasn't sure bout the past

How can I top lost dog? It's a difficult act

A physical task, and honestly a lyrical ask

I've never spent so much time where I just sit on my ass

Or listen in class, I'm not even daydreaming in math

Have my fun brain cells been killed and attacked

Split in a bag, leaving me with little to laugh

I'm bitter and bad

But better than the bit from before

Less 1 on 1 with bottles, and I'm rarely in liquor stores

My therapist is telling me that I just need to explore

The internal chamber of my heart and see what's indoors

And ain't helping, he's a figurative whore

And so sweet, but how long is this for

And won't tell me if they see what I see

And heaven knows that it wasn't made for me

What's the next step in my route now?

I'm not sure about the past, and not sure bout the future

Cause I wanna live groovy, but wanna be lucha

And I wanna make music, but wanna make movies

And I don't wanna choose now, I'm trying to stall

I wanna do all, but scared that I'll be dropping the ball

Can you add on living with strangers by Fall

University halls, and praying that Universal will hold

I'll get you adding on a list of substances that'll make me fold

There's no parental guidance, just my finances that'll make me halt

And with the climate, I think I'll just stay inside and in the cold

And let my dreams and hopes and aspirations get chopped up and rolled

Now can you add on rising pressure from my friends, and, and family

Can you add on my depression coming back to take my sanity

Can you add on existential dread and questions about identity

And questions asking whether heaven was ever really meant for me