Removals van

Over the garden, my piano floats with a bum note

Followed by lamps, bedclothes, potplants

Flatscreen TV, your vast CD collection

And carrier-bags distended with crockery

And now we're just waiting for the phone call from our solicitor

I grew up on Whitebridge estate

Our house backed right onto the old tramway

The smell of freshly-baked oaties

Curls like a slow-worm through my memories

Brand-new skateboard echoing along the ginnel

Staying up late to watch the England Germany semi-final

The long summers my brother and me

Passed fishing in the quarry and climbing trees

Great cities of LEGO

Sprawled across the darkened plain of the garage floor

Blasting Erasure 'Blue Savannah' we pull onto the drive

Our headlights like dancing sprites reflect in the porch window

The previous occupant, a retired civil engineer and recent widower

Has left us a pressie in the fridge, a giant bottle of bubbly

Things started to get pretty bad

When Nissan made my Dad redundant

All he'd do was watch telly

Sinking lagers steadily

Tempers boiled, dinners spoiled

Gladiators versus Noel's House Party

Having a curry on crossed legs surrounded by boxes

We take a drunken selfie and Whatsapp it to your family

Then I give myself a headache blowing up the airbed for our first sleep

Jolted awake, the central heating groans, "Where am I?"

I'm up in the loft playing Doom

There's an awful crashing and banging coming from the living room

I should be running down the stairs

But I just sit frozen to my chair

Dad's shouting, "I can't take it anymore!"

Then he's vanished in the blink of a slamming door

I spent the morning traipsing round Ikea and B&Q

Hammers and nails, a curtain rail, pans, mugs, sink-plugs

And a Persian rug

Then we had our appointment with the midwife

And here we are painting the little bedroom

It won't be long till the baby arrives